outfit 5/26/12

Sadly blurry, but the best full body shot I could get. Reason number 50 I need to move out with my boyfriend: have some one to take pics lol. The timer feature on my camera doesn't focus most of the time.
 [also my terrible bedroom I'm sick of..]

You can see what my full hair looks like currently-- Its Ion Color Brilliance and its slowly going to be in all of my hair, but right now its just the front/roots so I don't fry my hair trying to bleach black out.

I'm wearing Tripp NYC's lace shrug and I loove it so much. Its obviously very light and just a nice way to cover up in summer.

Here's a way better photo of the shrug from this blog:
http://absinthrill.blogspot.com/2010/06/shrugs-by-tripp-nyc.html

Shirt is by Living Dead Souls and I love it too.

Here you can just see my current hair more. I know its weird/bad that only the top is colored, but its just a really bad idea to bleach dyed black hair. So its just going to be a long wait for my hair to grow out.

I like makeup, but I never really learned to do it well so I never do anything interesting/different. My eyes usually just have one color powder or eyeliner and that's it. I'm also really bad with lip color because I constantly chew/bite my lips soo it never stays on, and I gave up on trying!

best air freshener

Happened to find the best air freshener! Adorable little skunk.

In my car. You can get him here http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12595226 and they sell replacement fragrance disks.

My friend bought this cute turtle: http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12482380&cp=12586994.12936197.11207111

Purple Hair - Ion Color Brilliance

I've been dying my hair black, and adding small bits of purple to it on and off for years now. But my dream hair has always been all-purple/violet.

I honestly just feel like its the most aesthetically pleasing hair color. I just love the way it looks. I truly wish it wasn't a 'weird' color because I seriously don't like the attention it brings (and how hard the upkeep dying is!) I just wish it was a mainstream accepted hair color so I wouldn't worry about having it at work, or having people look at me because of it, or judge me.

Here's some random images of what my dream hair would look like: (sorry I didn't save sources or credit)

Definitely click to make it larger for more detail!

Even though these images are my favorite hair, I probably won't ever have it this bright/light. So my goal isn't really those exact colors- just any kind of purple hair dye (that will not turn pink) that lasts is my personal goal right now.

Special Effects Deep Purple
The dye I've used the most is Special Effects Deep Purple. I like the color it gives, but its horrendous at staining everything. It will stain your skin, scalp, anywhere it touches and it will take days and multiple scrubbings to get it out. I resort to using not-good-for-you cleaning bleach to rub off dye that gets on my face... terrible idea, but thats just how strong the stains are. Soap and even "dye removers" will not get it out.

Its also horrible to your shower and you must clean it with bleach as soon as you get out. AND you need to be careful your wet hair doesn't drip onto clothing/bedding/carpet or it will stain.

So the color and staying power in my hair is wonderful, I'm just too tired of the staining. It will keep bleeding even weeks after dying, the water will basically never run clear. Even when its dry, and you rub your hair- your fingers will be purple.

Manic Panic, Raw, & Splat
These I'm just lumping into one category because they give me unsatisfactory results too. The biggest issue is that my natural hair color will NOT take purple dye. I must bleach it. The above brands, even their most dark purple-- ends up light & almost pink on my bleached to blonde hair. I just don't like the colors. Especially Splat. It came out a terrible pink I was not expecting. Raw & manic panic also have a hard time holding onto my hair..

Ion Color Brilliance Brights Purple
I may have found MY purple finally! I like this most of all because it does not stain anything but hair! So amazing! My scalp is free of dye, and even little bits that were on my face easily washed off. My hands are not stained after the shower the way they always are with Special Effects and the shower wasnt that stained!

AND I love the color! In my opinion, its more of a blue/silver/gray base than other purples. I'm sure I'm not explaining it right - but basically I can see that when it fades, it will probably fade into a gray-violet rather than a bright pink.

Here was my hair dye adventure this weekend.
Before image; my hair is a combination of Splat fail, and Special Effects Deep Purple and after image is boxed-drugstore-bleach. I must bleach my roots for it to hold my hair, and I decided to bleach the rest of it so new-purple would have a lighter base.

Then I used Ion Color Brilliance Brights Purple - that can be bought at Sally's Beauty Supply. You can find it on their website too.

A couple things that I did to make SURE my experience was a good one: I put a cap on and blow dried it with heat. I kept it on for a few hours and randomly would heat it every so often. To wash, I did not shampoo my hair after. Shampooing may clean your dye out too much, I only rinsed for a very long time in cool water. I HATE cold showers, but I tried my damnest to keep it as cool as I could stand.
I then used "Ion Color Defense - After Color Sealer," counted to 120 (my way of figuring two minutes).

To finish, I took a deep breath, leaned my body away from the shower as much as possible and rinsed in ice cold water. They say this "seals" in your color, and you should do this at the end of your shower.

The photos are really hard to do, the lighting is just bad in my home. But to me, in person, I am very satisfied with the color and the non-staining skin/bathroom of this dye and I plan to keep buying this and eventually doing my whole head!

 

So as you can see, this isn't the color of my "dream" hair, but for now I do truly like it just because the dye is easy to work with and its not too pink. I work in a corporate office environment, and I think this purple is better for me than the bright purples I put in my collage.

Can't wait till my black grows out more and I use this dye again!

Mother's Day - Cemetery (for grandmother)

So, I think some of this blog will be a lot of 'awkward' personal things I would like to post about, but feel too awkward for Facebook. Facebook just feels way more public. Yes, this blog isn't private and I'm not hiding my identity but you would need to take the effort to type in the URL and read my posts. Facebook just shares everything on everyone's wall and I feel like its more "look at me!" to hundreds of people. I have things I would like to post about, and I don't care who sees them - I just don't want them shoved under everyone i know noses like facebook does.

Anyway, something that fits into this non-facebook category is visiting the cemetery.

I was really close with my grandmother, she basically raised me more than my parents, in my opinion. I just remember she was the main person around when I was a kid because my parents worked. She passed away, and of course I always feel the guilt about being a bad kid and not appreciating her but I'm sure she knew I loved her.

My mom is extreme about remembering my grandmother, I hear comments all the time about something she would like, dislike, or my mom asking me if she looks or acts like her. She visits the cemetery all the time. I go when I can, I've never refused but my mom just doesn't invite me if its an early weekend time or workday.
I miss her but the truth is I try not to think about her too much, because its too hard. I'm not sure I'll be able to be so dedicated to gravesites as they become my responsibility, but its also just because I think it's a bit pointless. If there is an afterlife, I really doubt the dead care if you bring their bodily remains flowers. And if there isn't, then you should just think of the dead, and keep them in your heart. Who do pretty gravesites benefit? Only yourself and other people visiting the cemetery.

But, I understand the need for the ritual for some people. Its 8 years later and anytime you open my mom's trunk its full of fake flowers and a jug of water for washing the grave marker with. So we visited for mother's day and here are some photos.

It is at St. Adalbert Cemetery in Niles Illinois. Its very Polish..

They are cell phone photos because I wasnt really planning on taking photos, it was a last minute thing.

 

This is my grandmother's.

 Here you can just see how many flowers and things there are.

Here is actually where my mom plans to move my grandma and wants us to be at. She says its because however they mow the cemetery, her flowers and things are always broken, moved, or lost. She says its happened many times and she's also frustrated that the grass near the area isn't growing well and they don't fix it or care. Soo she says shes wants our spots moved to this so she doesn't have to worry what it will look like..


Next is just some random photos of the area near us.

My Car - Yaris - Tints

I love my car. When I started working full time in 2007, a car was my first big goal. I had a terrible hand me down like most people do, but I always knew I would get a new one soon. It was always important to me because its something you use and look at everyday! I wanted something NEW too. I always find I take better care of things if they are brand new, shiny, and perfect... so I just wanted a new car REALLY bad.

I've always wanted a car that was a little different, I hate sedans-- they are such a generic common shape.. The three cars I considered were a Beetle, PT Cruiser, and a Toyota Yaris hatchback.

Looks wise, I still love PT Cruisers, but I chose the Yaris because it looked different AND has great gas mileage. At the time, it was one of the best- but I honestly don't know how it compares to newer cars now since mine is from 2009.

If you want to learn more about the Yaris check out, http://www.yarisworld.com/forums/. I love this place, I slack at keeping up but when you need something, or just want to look at pictures, or learn something, this is the place to go.

So the most obvious tip to make your car more YOU is a custom license plate of course! I adore mine because its two big things - 1. fandom, I love the Joker - yes the movie is what pulled me in more, but then I bought a bunch of comics and loved them. 2. Internet! I just like that this is a goofy internet meme in batman fandom and lolcats. It suits me ;)

My third little secret is that I just feel like its a good life motto. Especially in driving. I do not understand road rage. Who cares? There's nothing you can do stuck in traffic, unless you're a dick and plan to weave, speed, or cut people off. So I'm a pretty mellow driver and just don't care. If anyone is pissed on the road, I hope they read my plate.

Here it is new and shiny!

I met a friend on yarisworld.com and bought "eyelids" from him. Here is the before after.

 

See the headlights? I love how it looks!

I also met a good friend and tinter! Chris Knapczyk. (Ragehalos [at] aim.com)  Ironically he has a bunch of joker tattos AND "Why So Serious" tattooed on his wrist. We had no idea about this until we met up and he noticed my plates!

He tinted my windows to whatever the legal rate is (I would love darker, but I am paranoid.. cops will pull you over if its too dark) A tip I read on yarisworld was to print out the current tint law and keep it in the car. I have this in my glove compartment.

He did an amazing job. Its been 3 years and the tint is fine. Research whoever you go to, because a sign of bad tinting is bubbles, and I've NEVER seen that on my car. He did it perfectly, and at a great price. He also tinted my tail lights with a spray - I love them and will probably eventually return to him to do them darker, because I think just over time they need a touch up.

 

When the light isn't on it looks pretty black, but at night the light easily shines through.

I've never had a problem with them and I've passed cops many times.. and yes, even been pulled over for speeding, and no one has ever had issues with the tails. This is commonly called smoking/smoked tails and I love it on other cars when I see it.

So, Chris did a great job and three years later, when I walk to my car I love looking at it and just have to smile at my little blackest black car. If you're in the Chicago or suburbs area and need tint done you should definitely contact him. ragehalos [at] aim.com!

Fashion Links

General Blogs: (this list will probably grow after using blogspot more, but right now these are the actual URLs I remember and type in every once in a while to see whats new)

http://www.sophistiquenoir.com/ - Corporate/Fancy looks
http://hautemacabre.com/ - High fashion, sometimes links on where to buy
http://cupcake-goth.livejournal.com/ - Love to look at her outfit posts because she's very elaborate and goes like this to an office
http://spookystyle.livejournal.com/ - Sadly not currently updated but the old stuff is AWESOME for home decor. I want to find more home decor blogs but I can't!
http://gothfash.livejournal.com/ - discussion & selling


Shopping Journals:
http://lippy-addicts.livejournal.com/ - Very active community for Lip Service
http://steamfashion.livejournal.com/ - Very active for steampunk discussion and selling posts
http://corsetry.livejournal.com/ - Very active for corsets!

Shopping Sites:
ETSY! I'll make an etsy oriented post one day, way too many shops to link
Ebay, pretty easy to find good stuff and not worry about the shop. sometimes you'll find something cheaper than on a website, like brands like lip service
http://www.goodgoth.com/ - I like that a lot of the stuff is actually lowkey and 'normal.' saves on having to search around the mall or mainstream sites and have it all in one spot lol!
http://www.retroscopefashions.com/ - A few of my fancy things are from here
http://heavyred.com/ - So my real opinion, is that there are a handful of things I bought from there that I can't wear - either it was too small or a bad fit. I recall some items being flimsy too, like too thin and fell apart.
HOWEVER there are some items I still like & wear and I still have faith in their clothing and love the styles. I just need to be better about sizing and returning items if I dont like them
http://www.bluebanana.com/ - Ships from the UK and expensive, but atleast its a .com not a .co.uk and the prices can be set to dollars


I cant think of too many more right now because lately I stick to Etsy or trolling the mall. I really hate the search in person and trying things on, but it is much cheaper to wander the mall and work to find things than online shop...

Braces Intro

I had braces about 11 years ago. I didn't wear a retainer. Anyone reading this getting braces or wearing them - WEAR YOUR RETAINER AFTER!

My parents paid for them the first time, but of course now at 24 I am paying myself.

I got my lower braces on exactly one week ago and they are still killing me. The actual teeth/gums are still sore, and my inside cheek/lips are shredded and hurt. Its something you usually dont see mentioned but half (even more than half) of the hurt of braces is the inside skin of your mouth being rubbed by the braces and you get sores. You need to squish wax onto your braces to stop them from rubbing/scratching.

So one week and my lower braces are still completely covered in wax and the front teeth are super sore. They were the most crooked.

My doctor is http://www.naborowskiorthodontics.com/ in Addison, Illinois.

His office is friendly and great. His last name is super Polish but he seems completely american with no accent.

He's actually the same ortho I had when I had braces at a kid, and he actually gave me discount going back.

The FIVE places I received estimates for braces went from $3,900-over 5,000. (I was looking into invisalign too)

Naborowski quoted me under $2,000 because I was a return patient and I took it. So the experience has been pretty good other than the soreness, but thats to be expected. I hope to get them off this year. I will probably ask him for a better update next time I come in.

The only awkward bit is I don't think I've seen any adult patient any time I've gone. It's all children other than me. But, the price was worth it so I'm fine with it.

Modest Fashion

'Modesty' is something I've noticed in my clothing. I guess it depends on your definition but I view modest as = showing little skin. Its definitely NOT from a prude point of view, i LOVE women that look good showing off their skin. Its mostly my own self image issues with myself. But ALSO because I genuinely get cold a lot.

Eventually, I want to stop being so self conscious and show some skin so this blog might help me do it.

For now though I wanted to share some tips on modesty, or the better general description, tips for anyone that wants to cover their skin let it be for modest, religious, keeping warm, gothic fashion (staying pale!), or whatever reasons.

1. ARM WARMERS are my favorite thing in the world. At the most hottest point of summer I will wear a short sleeve tee with arm warmers. Thats the most arm skin I will show. I get cold a lot during summer because of air conditioning so I always want arm warmers on me so I dont freeze once I get inside.

I do have a lot of arm 'warmers' that are really thin and don't make me warm at all, that are great for shielding sun in the summer. So non-warming ones exist, you just need to look for them!

Good arm warmers help me in winter too when even a long sleeve shirt doesn't satisfy me and my hands are cold, I put them on and the ends peek out from under my sleeves and keep me extra warm.

Places to buy them are of course hot topic, and http://heavyred.com/gloves.aspx has a great selection I use a couple from all the time. My others are random surprise store finds or etsy. Wrist cuffs are another good search term for arm covering.



2. SHRUGS. I didn't even know this was a thing until a year ago maybe. Search "shrug" on etsy and you get a million results. "shirtless sleeves" are also a good searchword. Shrugs are basically your arms/upper back covered minimally so the top youre wearing isnt covered too much.

I LOVE this shop's "shirtless sleeves" http://www.etsy.com/shop/clothesmindeddesign because they are perfect to put UNDER clothing. They're tight and sleek so it easily goes under a tshirt or nice blouse. I own two of these. they don't overheat me, just have the perfect coverage for my upper back/neck and arms.

This is another shop with shrugs/sleeves I have purchased from http://www.etsy.com/shop/missfitclothing

http://www.etsy.com/shop/undertheroot This person sells arm spats, and I bought a pair. They may be good for someone that wants more arm covering than arm warmers but not back covering- however for me I prefer the shrugs I have because these sleeves would ride down a lot and bunch up too much.




3. HIP T http://www.myhip-t.com/ I love mine! I think I have 3 pairs. You wear it on your mid section if youre cold, a shirt is too short, or worried about your pants riding down... It makes me feel sooo much better to put this on and have it half under my shirt and half over my pants. You can even wear it on your bra to cover too much cleavage.











4. BRA COVERS I don't know the correct word for these, but google bra cover. I didnt know these existed until a few years either. I own one I randomly found in a store and I also own "the winkee" however the website seems to not be working. Here a general site selling it http://www.solutions.com/jump.jsp?itemID=13980&itemType=PRODUCT and here's an old blog post I found featuring it http://www.shefinds.com/2008/modesty_fights_back_new_cleavage_covering_bra_accessories/

Bra cover, cleavage cover, modesty panel are all good search terms.



5. SHOPPING ADVICE I wear a lot of open button up long sleeve shirts/cardigans/sweaters/collared shirts. They keep your arms and back warm but if you keep them open your "main shirt" still shows in front and you don't overheat. Basically that is my wardrobe at work in the summer since I feel short sleeve + arm warmers is inappropriate for the office. I always wear layers of a short sleeve shirt and some kind of button up over it, if I cant wear a regular long sleeve shirt.

I've found the best time to shop for long sleeve "summer" shirts is actually winter. Walk into the mall in the summer and its REALLY hard to find long sleeves. I look for the lightest materials, I own a lot of sheer, flimsy, super thin long sleeve button up shirts/cardigans I wear over shirts. They dont overheat me and it IS possible to find really thin material if you look hard for it, you just need to look in the winter time if you want long sleeves.

Home Decor - Design Toscano

Somewhere, years ago I saw this table and I fell in love with it. Current price is $300 and I can't remember how much it actually was back when I found it, but I remember thinking it was "crazy expensive," by now though the price doesn't seem so unattainable when you go shopping for furniture and see how good quality things are in the hundreds/over a thousand! So I'm pretty sure this will be one of my big purchases once I move out.

So this table had me discover Design Toscano here http://www.designtoscano.com/ and I've drooled over their website and have been waiting until I can move out to buy up some of their items. Here's a few more items I love:

I doubt I'll ever buy ALL of these, but the table and the light sconce are things that are top goals...

Aaaand this is a fun item:

 But I think I would only get it if it actually matched the rest of the bathroom. I think that needs to be the difference between a tacky/gaudy/LOOK AT ALL MY RANDOM STUFF type of home versus something actually adult and put together. I want my dragon furniture to actually match the room its in (I already have a shelf full of dragon figurines) so I envision the dragons in the living room, having dark fantasy/dungeon theme/decor but in the bathroom I really have no idea what it will end up looking like.

I want it to match- the cups, soap holder, shower curtain, whatever else so sadly this little dragon probably won't fit... unless maybe the bathroom has green it and no other objects that clash... but being on a budget I have a feeling the bathroom will be the last place we'll care to decorate or paint so I'll probably have to work with whatever colors it already is.

an introduction

I'm thinking about blogging. I've always found myself stifled with blogs because I lose interest or I end up spamming it with fandom and then feel stupid when it's filled with "yay harry potter" "omfg hugh laurie is so sexy" etc. Soo if I start this blog, I'm going to make a rule about no fandom stuff.

I think I'm going to also keep a rule of 'no rants'/long analysis/discussion of 'deeper' things like social details/opinions/life thoughts because I end up typing things and ending up feeling stupid reading them later too.

What I want to do is something shallow and motivating. As weird as that sounds, I need the shallow part because I've always wanted to fix my image up and I think I'm going to finally do it. I want the motivation of a blog to post fashion photos, or home decor, or updates on my hair or something.

I'm going to use blogspot because this is where I find so many interesting gothic blogs. I haven't seen as much currently updated fashion/home decor on Livejournal, and I really dislike the format of tumblr, since I like to type a lot.. and I dont understand the commenting/replying on tumblr.

Anyway things I hope to put in this blog--

1. Updates on my fashion re-haul. I think I currently have an image of frumpy geek alt girl (I feel weird labeling myself goth) but I've always wanted a fancier/gothier/sophisticated look so I may start that. Nicer blouses and skirts. etc.

2. Hair, eventually I want more purple in my hair, or all purple. I havent decided how I'm doing this. I feel like my first step should be to buy a plain black wig to have a way to hide the "purple adventures" once I start.. I foresee lots of crappy looking roots growing out, and bleach disasters, PLUS I work in a corporate office so I want a safety like a plain wig before I start putting more purple in.

3. I may post random vanity/cosmetic comments and pics like if I did my nails in a way I like, updates on my braces, or cosmetic procedures like laser hair removal.

4. Hopefully I'll discuss home decor soon. I plan to move out from my parents soon and have always dreamed of decorating the way I love. Dark colors, fantasy/goth objects.. etc

I think that's it. As I said, I want to keep this 'light,' and at a loss for better words- "shallow" or image/style-centric. Clothes, home decor, etc... because I enjoy reading those blogs.

We will see!

As a start here's two pics of me. One is casual me with my boyfriend, one is me on the way to an event I got to dress up how I wish I could look everyday. No edits, my camera phone just loves to wash me out which I'm fine with!

I love how I look here and when I scroll up to the other pic I just go "ew." At my face, hair, skin color, teeth, smile. I don't know why, I think pic one is "ok" but I dont get the same feeling as I do looking at the second one! So this is kind of my goal. To LIKE how I look more often. Rather than 'dress down' or dress normal to fit in with friends or keep people from judging me. If I want to use super pale makeup and wear a fancy blouse I should be able to whenever I want, etc!

Lets see what comes of this blog!